I am thinking about spiritual motherhood recently. Which is to say, I’m thinking about what it means to be a woman. Motherhood is an intrinsic call to each woman, whether that be through biological or adopted children, or through spiritual nurturing. In these days when we cannot define a woman, I feel that the world is more than ever in desperate need of motherhood and all that women have to offer. I am, however, still learning how one can do this without physically being a mother.
What does it mean to be a mother without children?
Originally, I expected to become a mother to biological children shortly after being married. Of course, this may still happen and I pray that it will. I’ve not given up just yet! However, I’d still like to use this time to develop my understanding of the maternal side to woman’s nature.
My education (while in many other respects excellent) did not necessarily cover this sort of thing. Spiritual motherhood was taught as something taken on by consecrated women. It was a distinct vocation to the physical role of a mother to her biological children. Now that I am facing the prospect of not experiencing that, I wonder how I am to express this maternal side of my nature. What does it mean to be a spiritual mother? Is it really something reserved for religious sisters? Do I need to take up some other form of prayer or charity to achieve this end?
I’m still learning. But I’m pretty sure the answer to both questions is no.
Being a woman is enough
If each woman has a call to maternity and I would argue that this is a call to both physically nurturing actions and spiritual ones. Whether the people we are nurturing our actually our children or not seems rather beside the point.
Since motherhood is an intrinsic part of a woman, then I do not see that there is any need to take on a new set of activities or some particular charity work. Instead, we should focus on strengthening our prayer life and growing in virtue. By drawing closer to Christ, we will become more the women He desires us to be and, ergo, more maternal. Of course, in this development, we may find the desire grows to take on new roles through charity, community groups, family roles or spiritual exercises. If so, we should respond to that! But even if all we are doing is praying daily and loving those around us, we will still be living out our maternal and feminine role as intended.
The world needs what women are
As I launch myself into learning more about this topic, it was suggested that I look up St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein). Almost immediately I was grabbed by her quote:
The world doesn’t need what women have. It needs what women are.
St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
Goodness, it feels very true. There is a real loss of the value of true femininity in our culture today. By femininity, I don’t mean a desire to wear dresses and paint your nails, or a particularly meek personality. No, femininity is much more than that. It is beyond externals and incorporates all personalities known to women. How we express our femininity, our womanhood, will differ between each woman. But we’re all called to bring something beautiful, strong and life-giving to the world.
Exactly how I should be doing my part, is still somewhat a mystery to me. But I begin to see that there’s really something wonderful to do as a woman. And it has nothing whatever to do with #girlboss, feminism or trying to outdo the boys. What a relief!
More to explore
This, at any rate, are my first thoughts. I am still very much at the beginning of understanding what it is to be a woman and live out that role without children of my own. But perhaps there is a hidden blessing in being asked to wait for a family. If I had not, I would never have given much thought to this role, and perhaps would not have done it justice. I hope that this period of practice will allow me to be a better mother should we be blessed with children, and a better spiritual mother whether we are or not.
I’m very keen to learn more about this, so if you have any suggestions for good reading on the subject, let me know in the comments below!
